Little Rock – French Hill debuted a new look today in an effort to combat the wage-baiting liberal media’s attacks against his success. Max Brantley penned an article last week (in which he used the word “twitter” to describe a tweet) criticizing Hill for his hucksterish façade of frugality. Brantley pointed out that although French Hill (whose first name is really James but who presumably started going by his middle name in college because French sounded less plebian and more exotic) released an ad featuring his 1998 Volvo station wagon and hilariously cartoonish sound effects to highlight his frugality, he actually lives a pretty comfortable life which includes a $46,000 country club membership, a half million home, and a BMW and Mercedes he never gives screen time to.
Hill, dressed in authentic 1930s Hobo attire, made a direct appeal to Arkansas’ working class voters:
“See? I’m just as unwashed and disgusting as you folks. I would never spend money I don’t have; that’s I went into banking, so people would give me their money and once I have that money I can spend that money that I then have on interest bearing investments so that I can make more money that I can then not spend. I think Washington shouldn’t spend money it doesn’t have just like you don’t spend money because you have no money, that’s why I want to go to Washington to get more money in the hands of bankers like me who will then not spend money that they don’t have because I don’t spend money. You don’t need money, you need traditional family values and that’s what I’ll fight for when you fly me first class to Washington. Did I mention I have kids?”
Some have come to Hill’s defense. Over the weekend former Republican candidate for State Auditor and Arkansas Governor’s school attendee Ken Yang lambasted Hill’s detractors in a Facebook post wherein he asked for $10 dollars to stop the “onslaught the liberal media and unions are launching against and all of us!” He does not however explain what method of censoring the media the donations will fund but presumably it doesn’t involve assignation or bribery. He also leaves it unclear who “all of us!” are.
Yang, who apparently majored in straw man construction Hendrix, took exception to the suggestion that people should be “successful BUT not too successful.”